let go and wait to see what comes next ...

It’s autumn, and the chilly mornings are followed by warm sunny afternoons in the Garden. The trees are starting to change colour, and God’s world is revealing new beauties. “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let go” (author unknown). It occurs to me that this is the logical follow-up to a summer (or life stage) of growth and fruit. There is an ending, and there is a beginning. The autumn leaves fall from the trees, and the new leaf buds can form, then open in the spring.
However, there are some trees that do not let their dead leaves fall. They hang there, ragged and dry and brown, all winter. When the spring arrives, the old leaves are forced off the branches by the swelling buds. I don’t really want to be like that - I want to eagerly let go of those things whose time is past, and wait through the winter, getting ready in hidden ways until the spring should burst forth on the earth and in me. Then it will be revealed what God has wrought through the quiet, seemingly dead time under a blanket of snow, through storms, wind and rain.
God will surprise me with what is contained in my new beginning, in my new season, and it will be GOOD!

what's in YOUR investment portfolio?

I was asked a simple question the other day: What's the fruit of an apple tree? Apples, I said, with great assurance. To my surprise, that was not the answer! The fruit of an apple tree is more apple trees! The apples are only the means to the end.

I remembered the Parable of the Talents, as told in Matthew chapter 25. The man expected multiplication of his money from those he entrusted with it, not just safety. The one who merely protected the money had it taken from him and given to the one who made the greatest profit. This story, along with the apple tree question, opened up to me a whole new way of thinking about life, about ministry, about spiritual growth: I call it God's investment plan.

So what is God's way of investing? What is the fruit of Laurie? God has given me talents - skills and areas I'm gifted in, both spiritually and naturally. At work, I teach others to use their software at a more advanced level, and seek to make more skilled users like myself. I seek to multiply myself and my skills in them. It should be the same in my spiritual life: make others like me - at least, like me in certain ways. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, and he has called all of his disciples to "go therefore and make disciples of all nations" (the Great Commission, Matthew 28:19).

I am a disciple, and my fruit is therefore more disciples. How do I do this? By investing myself in others. As God puts coins of discipleship into my hands, so I invest them into others and they increase in discipleship too. God receives a return on his investment - and so do I! It seems simple and obvious now I've realized this, but sometimes the most important things are hidden to us until a simple key thought unlocks the full meaning and we see with new understanding.

So I ask, What is in YOUR investment portfolio? How will you also multiply yourself to bring God a return on the investment God has made in your life? A final thought that may help: Ecclesiastes 11:1 is something very familiar to many of us. "Cast your bread upon the waters, for you shall find it after many days [and much more with it]."

the goldilocks workout plan

This gorgeous Southern Ontario spring morning is warming up the soil and coaxing new life out of the chilled earth. As I cleared away the detritus of winter, I saw the green spears of tulips, tipped with red, emerging for the first time - I planted them last fall and have waited eagerly all winter to see them come up. I love tulips! And now they are three feet tall and topped with glorious red and white blooms. These ones are extra special: they are the new "Canada 150" Maple Leaf tulips bred in Holland for this year's sesquicentennial.

As I work in the garden I start a little conversation with my Vinedresser. It goes something like this:
Me: I love being in the garden with You. It's so peaceful out here. I want to learn to talk with you. To be able to tell You the deeper things in my heart. But I don't always know what to say.
The Vinedresser: That's ok - just go ahead. I'm listening ...
Me:  You know how much I want to have fruit. How much I want to DO something that will give back to you some return for spending so much love and care on me.
The Vinedresser: I know that. Be patient. You're doing fine! [Just then a freight train rumbles by on the far edge of the fields. I look up at it as the Vinedresser speaks into my heart...] But don't try to pull too heavy a load.
Me: [thinking ...] You know that's a difficult one for me. I always seem to get it wrong - take on too much, and run into trouble. [I think of the old story of the frog in the slowly-warming pot of water on the stove.] How shall I know when it's too heavy a load?
The Vinedresser: [smiling] If it feels good when you stop to take a rest, you'll know you have the right load.

I mull this over and it's clear to me right away just how much wisdom there is in that. It's like working out at the gym: Too much weight, or too many reps, and we get hurt or are stiff for days. If the load is too little, we don't even feel we need a rest: There's no real challenge, and we don't build strength or endurance. But when the load is just right, enough to give us a good workout, but not enough to break us down, we feel good - even exhilarated - tired and sweaty but invigorated.

Master Gardener, let me be like Goldilocks in finding the load that's "just right". Continue Your work building up in me the right sort of strength to do what I was created for, to fulfill Your purpose and bring You glory. Amen.

the camino - first century style

Imagine yourself in Bethany. It is summer, late 0020's of the First Century of this Common Era, and John is baptizing people and calling them to repentance, preparing the way for the Messiah. Imagine the scene and the conversation. Jesus, who has just been revealed as the Son of God during his baptism by John, begins to seek out those who will be his disciples - and the story goes like this (from the Gospel of John, chapters 1 & 2):

The next day Jesus decided to go to Galillee. He found Phillip.

Jesus: Follow me.

Phillip: Uh - what? Me? Where are we going? 

Jesus: There's a wedding in Cana and I want you to come along.

P: Cana! But that's 2 days' journey! We'll have to walk. And I have only just met you, Rabbi.

J: That's ok - we'll talk along the way. 

Can you imagine the long hours of walking with Jesus and his new band of disciples, talking, reflecting; stopping for a drink or a meal or to rest in the first bit of shade on the route in hours; finding a place to spend the night? Sounds very much like the renowned Camino de Santiago de Compostela in Spain.

Now, in the 21st Century, I am on my own Camino with Jesus, my Rabbi, my Teacher, my Lord. He has chosen me as one of his disciples and he is teaching me how to be more like him as we travel together to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Rev. 19:9). As I follow him and we journey together, we talk along the way, stop for refreshment and rest in the shade side by side when the sun gets too hot in the early afternoon. I invite you to come along: he wants you too, on this journey of a lifetime. There's always room for another, and the conversation is like no other!

made in the image of God

Genesis 1:27 is a familiar passage to many:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

It's familiar, but do we actually think about what it means to us today? Do we take it for granted, give it lip service, gloss over it? What about Ephesians 4:24:

... and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

What does this mean? We have not seen God, and we are mere humans: How can we be the image of God? A quotation from the writings of St. Athanasius of Alexandrea (4th century AD/CE) offers us an answer:We were made "in the likeness of God". But in course of time that image has become obscured, like a face on a very old portrait, dimmed with dust and dirt. When a portrait is spoiled, the only way to renew it is for the Subject to come back to the studio and sit for the artist all over again. That is shy Christ came - to make it possible for the divine image in man to be recreated. We were made in God's likeness; we are remade in the likeness of his Son. To bring about this re-creation, Christ still comes to men and Lives among them. In a special way he comes to his Church, his "body", to show us what the "image of God" is really like. As posted at http://justus.anglican.org/resources/bio/152.html, viewed May 2 2017

How can I present the image of God to the world? How can others see Him, not me? Keith Green's song "No Compromise" inspires me and challenges me to allow God to work in me to accomplish just such a miracle in my life:

I want to live, and let you live / Your life in me, that they might see ... 

(click here to listen:  https://youtu.be/GC2vvncga4U)

P.S. Athanasius is my hero! If not for his valiant and long-suffering championship, the doctrine of the Divinity of Christ would have yielded to Arianism, the belief that Christ Jesus was merely "a god". 

in him ...

Today I am enjoying an excercise of contemplative prayer. Reading Ephesians 1:3-12, the Father's plan of salvation, I found myself focusing on the words IN HIM which are repeated several times through the passage:

     IN - not out, beside, with - but IN - inside, immersed in, surrounded by, all-encompassing

     HIM - no-one else but Jesus Christ, as God, our Saviour

I found myself remembering from long ago a science fiction story in which the protagonist finds himself in an alien world where the atmosphere is so dense that one can swim through it as if through water, and so "fly" in a way above the buildings and streets, like a bird but much more slowly.

Thinking of this, I see myself sinking into Christ as into the sea, with tiny bubbles rising around me; and I begin to move my arms a bit, then find it's like that story: I can remain suspended, surrounded, deep within this atmosphere that is HIM.

He is in me, and I am IN HIM, one with Him.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 1:3-12. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

may day - with st. joseph the worker

It's May Day today - the first day of May, traditionally the day to celebrate workers and work. I think of Joseph, the foster father of Jesus, who is honoured today in the Calendar of the Saints. As I consider his life and ask God to show and teach me, I ponder on the thought that to Joseph, it must all have been a Big Mystery - but nevertheless, from the first appearance of the angel, he assented to God's direction.
As I think of Jesus growing up under Joseph's fatherly direction, Joseph must have taught Jesus his own traits, just as we all pass along our traits and habits, both good and bad, to our children. And so I believe we can say with confidence that, like Jesus, Joseph must have been a thoughtful, careful, devout man of faith; hard working, quiet, considering his actions, thinking before speaking - yet speaking out boldly when necessary. He definitely was deeply faithful: he must have KNOWN God well over his lifetime in order to have received the message from the angel and assented in this way. Later, he heard from God in a dream - and understood that it was God. He knew God's voice.
Overall, I come away with the knowledge that Joseph DID HIS PART even when he did not understand God's plan. I must do the same!

Anton Raphael Mengs (1728–1779), “The Dream of St. Joseph"

... in God's pocket ...

I am reading Isaiah 43:1-5, where God promises redemption and restoration to his people. God, who created us, then redeemed us with a huge ransom (people and countries - and later, Jesus). After God created us, we were lost to sin. He redeemed us because "you are precious in my eyes, and honoured, and I love you." WOW! I am His. He called me by name. He redeemed me at an enormous cost because of His great love for me!

I think of a beautiful gold pocket watch, very valuable, that ends up in a pawn shop, taken from its rightful owner, collecting dust on the shelf. Jesus, the priceless sacrifice, gives His life to redeem the beautiful thing and restore me to the rightful owner, my God who created me. Now I give Him pleasure by being nearby, as a pocket watch gives pleasure by its beauty, craftsmanship, the ticking sound. The watchmaker loves his watch that he made. He knows it intimately, as God does me, and takes deep pleasure in restoring it to himself even at such a great cost.

As I think of myself as the beautiful pocket watch in God's hand, ticking, my face - the watch face - looking up at Him as He gazes with joy on his reclaimed creation, I am moved to tears of joy and love in response. I am just ticking away, resting in His hand, just being me - just being a watch, just steadily keeping time.  All God asks of me is this.

Isaiah 43

1 But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.

3 For I am the Lord your God,    

       the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.

4 Because you are precious in my eyes,

    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.

5 Fear not, for I am with you;
    I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you.

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

true colours - that's why i love you

I sing with the choir on Sunday mornings at St. John The Evangelist Anglican Church in Port Hope, Ontario. I am grateful that we altos sit on the north side of the chancel, which gives me a great view of the spring sunshine pouring in through the beautiful and ancient stained glass windows on the south wall. I love stained glass of all sorts, and the liturgy lends itself at some moments to quiet contemplation, which is my chance to gaze off into the colours and lights of the glass, melted by the sunlight into brilliance. The tinted rays splash joyfully over the congregants, who are seemingly completely oblivious to how they are contributing to the decoration of the church by reflecting the light in this way.

As I drift, I realize that Community is a stained glass window. Our community at St. John's is made up of all sorts and conditions of humanity. Each member is a piece in the completed puzzle of the window. Each one has unique facets - the particular colour, texture and transparency of the glass; the size and shape it's cut into; how it harmonizes, contrasts or clashes with the nearby pieces; how it has been linked into the overall image by thicker or thinner lines of lead. Some of these pieces may be retrieved from the discarded bits of other works, or reclaimed from brokenness. Some may have cracks or chips. Some may be cut from new, whole glass fresh from the factory. No matter - they all take their place in the picture. And most importantly - they all allow the sun to shine through them to illuminate the world for those who wish to see.

Here I am, being myself, showing my true colours. Be brave; trust in God and do the same. The Great Artisan chose you and me personally, put us together, right there in the picture, in exactly the right spot. Let the Light shine through!

I see your true colors / And that's why I love you / So don't be afraid to let them show /  Your true colors.              

Cyndi Lauper - True Colors Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

True Colors | YouTube 

the prayer of a traveller on the Way

Today, Lord -

Cradle me in Your loving presence.
Wash me afresh; remove the dust from
This weary pilgrim.
I see the oasis - let me reach it and exult
In the abundance you have provided;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit as I do the moisture in the air
From Your spring of Living Water.
I drink and am satisfied
Once, and for always. 

(c) Laurie Robertson 2017 

strike the right note

My prayer corner contains a small Tibetan brass singing bowl. I can strike it with the small wooden mallet, or I can run the mallet steadily around the outside of the rim until the bowl begins to hum. With care and experience, a rich singing tone results and the air is filled with it. I occasionally luck into this moment, and just as fast as it came, it's gone! I keep trying.

But whether by striking the side or by stroking the rim, the bowl produces a vibrating tone that first rings out, then gradually dies in volume, and I lean my ear closer and closer to catch every bit of this sweet music. Eventually the singing stops. However, something has changed. Before the mallet was employed, the room was silent, true - but now the silence is deep with significance. As I focus in on the diminishing voice of the bowl, the world recedes and I am able to be quiet. And I must be quiet in the presence of my Gardener, as God is known to whisper, and I long to hear that still, small voice.

Now that I am quiet, I contemplate the mallet itself. I rub it smooth with a hard tool, and polish it with beeswax as I consider how God is doing the same to me. The small knots in the wood - one of which goes right through to the other side - are signs of where the original branch was pruned. God has pruned me, leaving scars of healing, grace, and mercy, and shaping me for a purpose. As I polish, I see depths of colour and grain in the wood that I had not noticed before - details, facets that otherwise could not have been seen. My loving Parent also polishes me until I shine with Light. Others will see and glorify the Great Artisan who has made this His creature into a thing of beauty as well as a tool fit for its purpose. The work is ongoing ...

And just as the polished wooden mallets strikes a tone out of the bowl, may I strike the right note as I sound out for God. May I always ring true!

initial musings ...

Writing a blog is something which millions have tried, and they petered out - even me, on my last try. Why should this one be any different? Perhaps because it's mostly for my own benefit. I am planted in God's Garden and grafted onto the One True Vine - Jesus Christ. As the Master Gardener tends me, prunes and trains me, and coaxes me to bear fruit in its season, I have ideas and insights that I'd like to record here - seeds and nutrients to inspire myself and others. May you be enriched as you spend time in the Garden with me.

John 15:1-9 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 

Beloved, let us remain in the Vine together. Amen.